A quietness of dawn is a precious time that cannot be exchanged for anything else.

It is a golden moment to immerse yourself in your own world and find inner peace and individual growth before starting the day. Or rather, perhaps the time immediately after waking up is more precious than gold.

Personally, I don't want the dawn time to be disturbed by communication with others, especially through social network services (SNS) like KakaoTalk or Instagram. (Except for groups that I have voluntarily created or joined.)

It is up to each individual when to send messages, including KakaoTalk and various other messages. It is also possible to turn off the alarm during disturbing times, so I don't care when you send messages. However, it is hard to understand why you should insist on sending SNS messages at dawn, especially during the most precious time when you can enjoy solitude.

"My early morning time is completely messed up these days."

A, who enjoys the dawn like me, confided in me one day. An acquaintance she had recently become friends with often contacted her in the early hours of the morning.

At first, A was happy to hear from her acquaintance. However, she said that as time went on, the unnecessary chatter increased, and she felt burdened by the nagging tone. In the end, A politely drew a line with her acquaintance and tried to spend the early morning hours alone again, as before.

"She's sad because I don't contact her."

But a while ago. A heard from her acquaintance that she was hurt. A had to talk to her acquaintance on the phone in the early morning.

A wasted her time again that day with useless talk and couldn't even do half of what she had to do. A even said that she was starting to dread waking up early.

In this way, we experience moments in life when we are asked unreasonable demands by others. Some people, like A's acquaintance, even bring up emotional hurt.

How much should we accept unreasonable demands from others?

I have also met people who bring up emotional hurt. I felt sorry for them at first. I felt very uncomfortable because it felt like I was hurting them.

But You should think carefully about whether someone who brings up emotional hurt to force you to do what they don't want is really someone who respects you and someone you should care about.

A told her acquaintance several times that she needed her own time. But her acquaintance didn't listen to her at all. Can communication be so one-sided? Can that be called communication? And who compensates for the wasted dawn and concentration?

If you lose your time, you are the only one who loses.

We have the right to protect our precious time. Even if it's not A's case, we have the right to refuse unreasonable demands from others, even when they bring up emotional hurt.

Those who become sacrifices always think about not hurting others. Using the fact that they were emotionally hurt, they can manipulate you. They cleverly use this whenever you try to act independently or when you try to break free from their control. 95 percent of "emotional hurt" is not real hurt, but material used in the victim strategy.

- Wayne Dyer, You Don't Have to Be Loved by Everyone

Is there anyone around you now who is making unreasonable demands, even though you say no, using emotional reasons? If so, it could be a sign that they are trying to manipulate you by bringing up emotional hurt. They want to control you according to their own taste.

We need to learn how to say no to unreasonable demands in order to live well as ourselves.

Don't worry if they think you're the one who made them feel bad or that you're being sensitive about nothing. It's okay to make bad choices that make them feel bad for our own sake. It's much happier than making bad choices for ourselves.